my shoulder and hand have healed up hurray!!!...i still can't fully close my right hand into a fist yet and i think i might have developed some nerve damage in my right wrist while training. but whatever.
right now the only things keeping me from drawing are the coursework assignments that i neglected for weeks and i'm trying to do now the week before they are due, and my empty innerworks.
i think something broke inside of me, and i can't imagine drawing things like i did before. i'm becoming obsessed with getting better, and other things, and it seems to be inspiring me to write pretty poetic things, but at the cost of consuming the images in my heart that once flowed through my fingers. it's becoming harder and harder for me to think of something i want to draw.
it's like i have great ideas, but when i think about drawing them, it all turns to sh1t and i get disappointed and become disgusted with my own mediocrity...
sigh*

Men are logical animals with hearts made of blood, fire and clockwork pieces

Women are creatures of spirit and fire. The machinery of their minds is complicated, organic and inescapably beautiful to look at.

To be caught in the terrifying gears and wheels, dragged through the teeth of that lunatic machine, is something that all men face in their lifetimes

The grinding works and bloody friction in this exercise is a trauma to both the man and the woman. But it happens. It is the inevitability of being human.

ugh....im so lame
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